Sickness
by EbonyKittyCat552
Summary: When the person you care about most in the world is dying... the least you can do is stay strong for them when they can't be strong for themselves


I got this idea from a fic that I read _years_ ago (literally) which had a completely ambiguous ending

Basically, it's AkuRoku angsting *sniffle* Because AkuRoku is one of my favs from KH of course, even if my Marly-ness (I RP him lol) makes me want to bash him over the head more frequently than not

Warning: angsting, slash stuff (I mean really, it's AkuRoku)... I think that's pretty much it actually for once

Disclaimer: KH people belong to Square-Enix and Disney

And if it wasn't clear, this is AU... they're not in canon universe here

* * *

Back to the hospital again, day after day. Axel had been going directly there from work so long that he didn't even stop to think about it anymore, didn't need to count the exits on the freeway; he already knew where to get off. He didn't need to see the hospital sign to know what towering building was the one in which is beloved resided, not anymore.

Roxas had been there for a very long time. Honestly, for Roxy, he didn't mind so much. Seeing the boy's smile when he walked through the door was enough to keep Axel from giving out from the sheer weight of it all.

If he hadn't had Roxy… he just didn't know _what_ he'd do! Roxas was his world all wrapped into one adorable, blue-eyed package.

And that was why, no matter how much it hurt, he would do this… for Roxas.

Pulling into the parking lot, he found his normal parking space in the corner near the front, the farthest to the left. No one else even bothered parking there anymore. For a moment after he turned the ignition off, he closed his eyes and tried not to let his worry overwhelm him. Almost, he had turned to beat-up seat beside him, expecting to see his baby angel staring back at him, but a shadow of his boyfriend passed before his eyes.

Growling, he hoisted himself out of the old car and slammed the door shut with more force than necessary. Steeling himself, he plastered a pale smile on his face and marched through the sliding doors in his usual ripped jeans and t-shirt, his boots leaving muddy trails just inside.

The girl at the counter looked up, flicking back her dark hair. Huge wine-red eyes blinked up at him. "Oh… hello, Axel. You're here to see Roxas, right?"

He nodded.

Her eyes dropped to where her hands fiddled with the clipboard on the counter before her, as if they were too anxious to hold still but had nothing to do. Axel's eyes flickered to them, and back up to her downcast face.

"He could use some company, poor thing," she said in a nearly inaudible voice. "He's been more tired lately than normal." Axel admired her attempt to sound cheerful, as incoming patients would expect of her, but her voice was strained instead, her huge eyes glimmering with tears at the unjust suffering of one of their residents.

"Tell me how he is, Teef."

"Now, I can't do that, Ax… That's giving away patient in—"

"Please, Tifa?" Axel pleaded. "I just… If he's going to… Please, just don't lie to me, Tifa. I want to know."

"It's not looking good," she admitted, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm sorry."

Axel's throat closed, constricting tightly around his airway until he felt lightheaded. It was a struggle to speak. _You already knew… why did you get your hopes up?_ "Thanks, Teef. I'm gonna go see him now. I'll be down at closing time, same as always."

"Of course." She couldn't seem to look at him. He didn't think he'd be able to look into her face either if he'd just told her that the love of her life was… was…

_Don't think about it._

Turning away, he made his way across the lobby to the elevator, his face fallen and eyes dulled slightly of their normally mischievous luster. Even the non-residents could tell that there was something off about him as he punched the up-button. A few of the staff waved, though. He didn't have the heart to wave back… not today.

The ride upstairs seemed to get longer every day. He stared straight ahead as the monotone music played in his ears, unheard. And then the doors opened to a familiar white-washed hallway with familiar blue doors and the familiar sound of the voices of other long-term residents of the hospital.

Spotting Roxas' door, he started to walk towards it, but it came both too quickly and too slowly for him. His hand hesitated on the handle, and then pushed it open.

Peering inside, he was met with a familiar room, the same as it had been last time, except that a few of the books had been moved, and a couple of movie-boxes rested on top of the television. Everything else belonged to Roxas, littered around the room—_his_ room—as if Roxas were at home instead of locked up in the terminal ward downtown. And on the bed laid a figure who was much too small and thin, but whose face still brought warm tingles of happiness to Axel's black mood. Huge blue eyes seemed to take up the whole of his boyfriend's pale, worn face. The rest was occupied by the boy's wide grin as Axel slipped into the room.

He would never tell Roxas, but the sight of his spirited baby angel looking so fragile was as heartbreaking as Roxas' smile was brightening. And he could see the shiny top of his baby angel's head. The loss of the cowlick had been a blow to them both, but Roxas had taken it particularly hard, knowing Axel had loved it.

_"I told you,"_ he had said, _"I don't care. You're still my baby angel."_

However, there was a change in those blue eyes today, normally so incredibly clear and bright. Today they were hazy and tired, clouded with pain. "Hey, Axel…" Roxas' voice cracked slightly, sounding weak.

"Hey, baby," he whispered, plopping down beside the bed and catching one of Roxas' pale, cold hands between his, rubbing gently. "How're you doing, Roxy?"

"Hurts," the boy whimpered.

Axel felt more helpless than he'd ever felt in his whole life. There was nothing he could do to fix this, nothing he could do to help. All he could do was sit here day after day and watch as Roxas wasted away before his eyes.

But he wouldn't let Roxas see him cry. Roxy didn't need that. He needed his Axel to be strong for him.

Roxas had assured him that just being there was enough, but still… he wished there was more he could do to help.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling the hand up, kissing his boyfriend's knuckles gently. "Is there anything I can do to help you get more comfortable, angel?"

Blue eyes blinked up at him almost dazedly. "Kiss me."

He stared. "Roxy…?"

"Kiss me, Axel." Roxas sounded perfectly lucid for the first time since he'd arrived, those blue eyes suddenly surprisingly sharp, though they shone brightly with agony. "Please, Axel, kiss me."

Something about this felt… wrong… like Roxas was…

Like he was saying goodbye.

"No," Axel snarled, startling the small form on the bed. "I'm not going to kiss you goodbye, you stupid, air-headed ex-blonde. You're not going anywhere."

Roxas smiled weakly at him, just a tiny curl of his lips to show a bit of his white teeth. "Alright then, Axel," he said softly. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the mountain of pillows behind him. "I'm glad you're here."

"Of course you are," Axel choked out. "What would you do without your Axel, huh?"

Complete seriousness hardened his boyfriend's face. "I really _am_ glad you're here, and not Sora or Cloud or anyone else. I don't know… what I'd do without you…" The boy twitched as if a jolt of pain had run up his spine. "So, are you going to put in a movie, or just sit here with little old me?"

"I think you should sleep," Axel immediately said, leaning down to plant a kiss on his baby angel's nose. "Rest is good for you, according to the doctors. Besides, you look pretty tired anyway, baby."

"I suppose…" Blue eyes fluttered against pale cheeks. "Are you sure that you won't kiss me, Axel?"

"I'm not saying goodbye." It didn't matter what Tifa or the doctors or anyone else said. His baby angel wasn't going to be going anywhere. They'd fucking got this far; he wasn't going to give up on Roxy now. "We're gonna get through this shit together, and you're gonna get all better, Roxy, and then you're gonna move into an apartment with me and we'll have Sora over to cook breakfast on Saturdays and Aerith will help us paint the guestroom pink."

"You'd actually let us paint a room of your apartment pink…?" Roxas laughed, a husky raw sound escaping from his throat. "I'd like that, Axel."

"Good, 'cause you're not going anywhere anytime soon."

He simply wouldn't allow this sickness to win. If there was ever a word to describe Axel, it was stubborn.

* * *

I'm going to write a sequel to this (maybe a happy and a sad one, can't decide) eventually, but for now I'll just enjoy the angsty AkuRoku-ness

Review if you wish


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